The best teacher jokes

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’” A small voice from the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; she’s still old, nasty, and wrinkled”
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The preschool teacher says, "We're going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?" Mary raises her hand and exclaims, "Me me me!" The teacher says, "Go ahead, what's the sentence? Mary replies, "The sky is definitely blue." "That's good, Mary," says the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white." Sam raises his hand and states, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher says, "That's good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too." Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Do farts have lumps in them?" The teacher says, "No Johnny, why do you ask that?" Little Johnny replies, "Well, I definitely sh*t my pants."
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More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher, fart
Teacher: What happened in 1869? Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born. Teacher: What happened in 1873? Student: Gandhi was four years old
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More jokes about: kids, teacher, time, student
My teacher sends this Chinese kid out of the classroom cause she thought he was sleeping. -_-
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More jokes about: racist, teacher, asian
Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8? Student: Miss horizontally or vertically? Teacher: What do mean? Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.
Vote: has 67.28 % from 271 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, teacher, student
One day in class, the teacher says: "Joe, 'I read, you read' what tense is that?" "Simple Lost tense!"
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More jokes about: school, teacher
During a lesson little Johnny yawns extremely wide. Teacher tries to make a joke: "Johnny, don't swallow me." He replies: "Don't worry, teacher, I don't eat pork."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher, food, vulgar, insulting
Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: "I didn't had no fun for months." Then she faces the class and says, "OK class, how should this be corrected?" Little Johnny says, "I think you should get yourself a better man!"
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

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Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, "Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?" Little Johnny smiles proudly, "No Miss, there's no need, my mom cooks really well."
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, food, school, teacher
A little boy was so exited because his mom told him he is getting a baby brother. He repeated that to his techer every day, when he came to school, "Im getting a brother." One day his mom alllowed him to feel the baby's kicks in her belly. The next day he came to school and didnt say anything to his teacher, so the teacher asked him, what happend to his brother. He replyed, "I think mommy ate him."
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, baby, teacher, school