The best teacher jokes

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Colorado Avalanche fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Avalanche fans too. Not really knowing what an Avalanche fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one exception. A little girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an Avalanche fan," she retorts. "Then," asks her teacher, "What are you?" "I'm a proud Detroit Red Wings Fan," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the little girl why she is a Wings fan. "Well, my Dad and Mom are Wings fans, so I'm a Wings fan too," she responds. The teacher is now angry. "That’s no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron and your Dad was an idiot. What would you be then?" "Oh," says the little girl. "Well, then I'd be an Avalanche fan."
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport, teacher, school, dad, stupid
Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father: No. Why do you ask that? Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
Vote: has 50.64 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, dad, teacher
A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve. A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?" Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
Vote: has 49.76 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, teacher, animal
Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk." Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, teacher, food
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and he really needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled, "Teacher, Teacher, I have to go pee pee!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, you should be old enough to know that this is not the proper word to use?" "The correct word would be urinate." "Now Johnny, would you please use the word urinate in a sentence?" Little Johnny thought for a moment then said:, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten!"
Vote: has 49.03 % from 109 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher, age, communication
Teacher: Who succeeded the first President of the USA? Class: The second one!
Vote: has 47.62 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, political, teacher
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Vote: has 47.48 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher, death, family, sex
Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her."
Vote: has 46.87 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher, cat
The absent-minded teacher paused to chat awhile with one of her students, then asked, "Which way was I going when I stopped to talk to you?" "That way", the student pointed. ''Good,'' said the teacher, ''then I've had my lunch."
Vote: has 46.87 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
Vote: has 46.76 % from 108 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher, student, math, stupid