What is a teacher's favorite kind of music? Class-ical.
Teacher: "In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?" Pupil: "Holding up the telegraph lines!"
Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! Ramu: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.
Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"? Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' Teacher: No, that's wrong Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Teacher: Ramu, why do you always get so dirty? Ramu: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, "There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything." After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same. After hesitating, they all did it. "Next," the professor said, "you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger."
Little Johnny wasn't a very good at speller. One day, during a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After thinking a few seconds, Johnny said, "Canoe?"
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. "Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?" "The Red Sox." "Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too." "That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?" "No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"
Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.