Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.
Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Flashlight A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall. This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
The world ends on December 21st, 2012. Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
Chuck Norris kills time in his spare time.
Chuck Norris once saw a video that takes 24 hours to watch... He saw it 3 times a day.
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.