The best time jokes

A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. "Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."
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More jokes about: desert island, time, IT
Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time, food
Flashlight A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
Vote: has 65.08 % from 182 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, time
How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
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More jokes about: women, age, time
When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice. "The first ten years are the hardest." "How long have you been married?" she asked. "Ten years", he replied.
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More jokes about: marriage, work, time
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time, music
Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall. This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather, time
Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
The world ends on December 21st, 2012. Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time