The best time jokes

Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break... It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, food, time
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
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More jokes about: animal, baby, elephant, time
Bro, send me some good jokes. Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend. Good One! Send me more.
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More jokes about: relationship, insulting, friendship, love, time
The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late. On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right handed and won the round. Next Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golfs left handed, and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with Geoge always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right handed. The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was. They said, ''George, every Saturday you say you may be ten minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?'' George replies, ''Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed.'' ''Well,'' one of the employees questioned, ''What happens if she is laying on her back?'' George replies, ''Then I am 10 minutes late.''
Vote: has 59.75 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport, work, time, sex, wife
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
Vote: has 59.74 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, wife, time
Chuck Norris bunked school one day. Till today that day is known as Sunday.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, time
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
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More jokes about: Facebook, gym, fitness, time, Facebook
What does a nigger do after sex? 25 years to life.
Vote: has 58.87 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, sex, time, prison, black people
Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, stupid, insulting, time
An Indian soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Indian army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in a Pakistani tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the Border. As I saw a Pakistani tank. I put my white flag up, the Pakistani tank put his white flag up. I said to the Pakistani soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
Vote: has 57.73 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military, time, holiday