When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about. I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old. We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes. I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
Chuck Norris bunked school one day. Till today that day is known as Sunday.
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.
Boy: My magic watch says that you don't have any underwear on. Girl: Well its wrong... Boy: Guess my watch is 15 minutes fast
Chuck Norris once slapped a man into next week. The man was missing for four and a half years.
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch? A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year!
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.