The best time jokes

Q: What does a blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked at the balcony? A: The blond girl told him to come outside
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, time, sex
Yo momma's so fat; she's in two time zones at the same time!
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, time, insulting
If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts. I'm thinking maybe homicide.
Vote: has 42.25 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, relationship, time
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
Vote: has 40.67 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, student, teacher, time, technology
What are Women Really Thinking? So many men, so few who can afford me. Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares? And your point is? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, time, food, money
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, game, science, time
Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, desert island, marriage, women, time
Why does a man like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, love, time
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport, women, time, golf
I've been trying to find the right time to tell my pet hes adopted...
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, time