The best time jokes

What is a frogs favorite time? Leap Year!
Vote: has 31.03 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, time
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: - Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: - Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. - But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: - I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. - But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. - Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
Vote: has 30.56 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, doctor, time, death
Q: How long does it take a black lady to shit? A: About 9 months.
Vote: has 29.90 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, time, black people
What fits your schedule better...... Exercising 1 hour a day or being fat 24 hours a day?
Vote: has 29.10 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, time
Q. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10? A. She picks up her purse and goes home.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, time
Wine improves with age – the older you get the more you like it.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: wife, time, age
Baby, at midnight we celebrate one year from the last time you kissed me. Look how time files!
Vote: has 27.66 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, time
It's legal to earn money playing hockey Many people play hockey even after they're married The puck's always hard The protective equipment is reusable It lasts at least an hour A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon You always know how big the stick is You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding You can change players on the fly You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds Your parents cheer when you score Periods last only 20 minutes You're sure to get it at least twice a week You can tell your friends about it afterwards.
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport, money, marriage, time
Four year-old Harry, who could tell time, was playing with a wall clock when her grandpa visited. Later, when he was putting on his coat to leave, the grandpa asked him what time it was. He looked at the clock blankly, and then answered in a triumphant way, "It's time for you to go, grandpa!"
Vote: has 25.81 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, time
A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, time