Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London?
They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
Yo momma so fat that when she was seated in the last row, the plane couldn't get off the ground.
A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago.
The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area.
The blonde exclaimed, "Wow! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
To get to the Milky Way!
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt Everest by accident.
Vote:
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.
'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert.
'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free!
'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.
'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.
Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train?
When it's on the train.