How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed.
During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave.
"No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating.
They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945.
World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945.
What a coincidence.
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One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow.
He said he can't walk.
Chuck Norris lit a match and ended the Cold War.
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Chuck Norris beat a black hole in a tug of war.
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In World War 2 Chuck Norris Pointed his Fingers at an enemy zero and said BANG, The plane burst into flames and crashed.
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The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
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What is the best job in a country which is war-prone?
"Foreign ambassador."
During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured.
For torture, they made him eat his own entrails.
He asked for seconds.
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