The best wedding jokes

Q: What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A: A new last name.
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has 73.64 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, ethnic, wedding
I've 3 aunts and 4 uncles in any ceremony of wedding they mention me : "oh , Bill you are enough grown up , the next time will be your turn." I also in payoff on funeral days tell them: "Woo you are enough old I hope next time would be your turn!"
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has 72.70 % from 203 votes. More jokes about: family, funeral, time, vulgar, wedding
Q: What's the difference between the first honeymoon and the second? A: First honeymoon, Niagara. Second honeymoon, Viagra.
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has 72.61 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: age, sex, travel, viagra, wedding
The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills. The driver wasn’t too sure how to get there, so he told the couple he would ask directions when they got closer to their destination. Meanwhile, the lovers couldn’t wait to get busy, so they got down to business in the back seat. During the couple’s moment of passion, the cabdriver noticed a fork in the road, and said, "I take the next turn, right?" "Screw NO, get your own woman," said the groom, "this one’s all mine!"
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has 72.35 % from 303 votes. More jokes about: driving, romantic, sex, wedding, women
Two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, he was a Widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another as the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, " Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of ' careful consideration' , she answered "Yes. Yes, I will. " The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?" He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: memory, old people, time, wedding
"I want a divorce"! "But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part." "I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
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has 68.61 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: black humor, church, death, divorce, wedding
"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
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has 67.52 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, money, wedding
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage. "Look," she said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other." "You're wrong," the young man declared. "For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account."
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has 65.63 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: money, party, time, wedding
Yo' Mama is so ghetto, her wedding cake was made of cornbread.
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has 65.51 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: food, wedding, Yo mama
I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards". I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.
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has 64.07 % from 341 votes. More jokes about: car, love, marriage, wedding