The best weed jokes

Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A: Mr. President.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: weed, drug, political
Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop!
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How do you know when you are stoned? A: When you are too phoned to stone home.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: weed, phone
Yo Momma so stupid, she thought seaweed is something fish smoke.
Vote: has 78.45 % from 361 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, stupid, weed, fish
Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed? A: Han So-high
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, weed
Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: weed, sex, vulgar, poems
Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed? A: Man, this music sucks.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: music, weed
How do you suffocate a nigger? Tell him there's weed inside the pillowcase.
Vote: has 68.05 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, black people, weed
Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school? A: Because they're all in high school
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, weed
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, kids, weed, dad, fart