The best jokes about women

A masked man walks into a bank and holds it up at gunpoint to rob the bank. In the process of robbing the bank, his mask fell off. He quickly put it back on his face and asked the teller directly ahead of him if she saw his face. She admitted that she did, so he shot and killed her. He then turned to the teller that was beside the one her just killed and asked if she had also seen his face. She said that she did and he shot and killed her too. He then turned to a man, a customer who just happened to be in the bank when the robbery was taking place. The robber asked the customer if he had seen his face. The customer replied, “No, but I’m pretty sure my wife did.”
Vote: has 77.04 % from 155 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, death, wife
A girl goes to a library. Girl: I want the book, "Women- The most perfect and intelligent." . . . . Librarian: Comic section is at the backside.
Vote: has 76.96 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
A woman yells to a blonde walking along a river, "How do I get on the other side!?" The blonde says, "You are on the other side!"
Vote: has 76.96 % from 179 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, women
It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honour." Testified the man charged with indecent exposure. "Explain that statement!" demanded the Judge. "Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman... So I showed her."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, bar, alcohol, women
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,"Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly. "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, student, business, women
How to Impress a Woman: compliment her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, listen to her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. How to Impress a Man: show up naked, bring beer.
Vote: has 76.89 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women, love, beer, romantic
These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader’s store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year." The trader got the gear together and on top of each one’s supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole. The guys said "What’s that board for?" The trader said, "Well, where you’re going there are no women and you might need this." They said "No way! We’ve sworn off women for life!" The trader said, "Well. take the boards with you, and if you don’t use them. I’ll refund your money next year." "Okay," they said and left. Next year this guy came into the trader’s store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year." The trader said, "Weren’t you in here last year with a partner?" "Yeah" said the guy. "Where is he?" asked the trader. "I shot him" said the guy. "Why?" "I caught him in bed with my board."
Vote: has 76.84 % from 178 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, women, divorce, geography, travel
A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk." Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
Vote: has 76.74 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, alcohol, party, ugly, mean
Two programmers after work, talking in a pub: "You will never believe me when I tell you what happened to me yesterday. I met a very nice blonde in a bar." - And what did you do ? "I invited her to my place, we had some drinks and then the girl asked me to undress her." "Are you kidding me ? And what did you do then?" "I got her blouse and her dress off and then i got her to sit on my office, right next to my new laptop." "Oh, you got a new laptop. What model and what are its specifications?"
Vote: has 76.61 % from 152 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, programmer, bar, women, office
A very fat woman comes into a store and tells the clerk, "I would like to see a bikini that fits me." Clerk, "me too..."
Vote: has 76.51 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women