The best jokes about women

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!” “Dear God! Did you try to stop him?” “No,” she said, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!”
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, women, god
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, “I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks.” He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones. He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house.”
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, money, women
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, men, sex
Q: Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? A: Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Womens are like computer virus... they ENTER your life... SEARCH your pocket... SHIFT your balance ... CONTROL your life... when you become an old version DELET you from the system
Vote: has 65.91 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, women, computer, life, money
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Vote: has 65.70 % from 395 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, women, age
*Girl is crying* Dad: Why you crying? Girl: My boyfriend dumped me! Dad: (Grabs shot gun) I'll be back.. A while later dad comes back Girl: What the hell! why did you go kill him! Dad: I didn't Girl: Where did you go? Dad: To get you icecream :D Girl: Why the hell did you bring the shot gun?! Dad: So I could get it for free!
Vote: has 65.53 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, dad, food
I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, time, relationship
I told my friend that she drew her eyebrows on too high. She looked surprised.
Vote: has 65.30 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women