The best jokes about women

Question: What’s the difference between your paycheck and your penis? Answer: You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
Vote: has 57.35 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. “I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.” The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.” The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.” She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
Vote: has 57.35 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women, husband, christian, animal
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives. Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does." Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft." Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?" Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." Looking puzzeled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?" "Because… he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box."
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, alcohol, sex, women, husband
Q: Why did this woman cross the road? A: Because I was not fast enough to hit her.
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch? A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
Vote: has 57.03 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, time
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women, animal, beer, phone
In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, god, men
Q: What is height of Honesty? A: A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
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A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, bar, animal
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, women, friendship, nerd