The best jokes about women

A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby doctor? What's wrong?" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite." The woman is confused. "A hermaphrodite..... what's that?" The doctor replies, "Well, it means your baby has the.......er......features....of a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh MY GOD! you mean it has a penis..... AND a brain.
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More jokes about: sex, baby, women
"There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works."
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More jokes about: women
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
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More jokes about: women
Three women were sitting in a bar, (a brunette, red head, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "well I was on top when I conceived so I will have a boy". The red head said, "If that is true then I will have a girl because I was on the bottom when I conceived. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
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More jokes about: alcohol, bar, women, ginger, blonde
Why are all jokes about women one-liners? So men can understand them.
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More jokes about: men, insulting, women
Woman: When you're finished with me, will my husband think I'm beautiful? Beautician: Maybe. Does he still drink a lot?
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More jokes about: beauty, husband, alcohol, women
Two women are digging in the garden. One pulls out a foot-long carrot. She says, "This one reminds me of my husband." The second woman says, "Your husband's is that long?" "No that dirty."
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Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice. Except for Chris Brown.
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More jokes about: life, celebrity, music, women, beauty
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
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More jokes about: republican, insulting, women, men
Lady goes to her doc. "Doc, I have quite the problem. I can't control my gas. All day long I'm farting and farting. The only good news is they are the 'silent but deadly' type. The Doc pauses for a moment and replies, "first let's get you fitted for a hearing aid."
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More jokes about: women