The best jokes about women

Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common? A: They all get the house.
Vote: has 51.81 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, weather, women
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Vote: has 51.72 % from 178 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, wedding, women, men, math
Andrew went to Medical Insurance to apply for his pension. The woman behind the bench asked for his driving license to verify his age, but he had left his wallet home. He said to her that he had to go home and return later. The woman said: "Unbuckle your shirt." And so he did, revealing his curly, gray hair of his chest. "These gray hair is quite a nice proof for me," she said and continued with his application form. When Andrew went home, he said to his wife what had happened. "You should have taken your pants off," she said, "Maybe you would have taken disability pension too!"
Vote: has 51.70 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, women, age, wife, money
Question: What do women and Slinkies have in common? Answer: Not really too much, but you can’t help but crack a smile when one tumbles down the stairs.
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Companies are working on a camera which has such a fast shutter speed that it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut. Advance Booking open!
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, work
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, school, women, dirty, baby
There is woman at a mental hospital that are told to go out into the world and find out something new about it. After about 3 hours she go back to the hospital and tell the the manager what she has learned. The woman goes up to the manager and puts a large spider on the table and shouts, "BOO" and the spider scurries under the table. She then picks up the spider, pulls all of it's legs off and shouts, "BOO" but the spider can't move. The manager then looks strangely at the woman and asks her what she has learned about the world. The woman replies, "When I pull all the legs off a spider it can't hear me!"
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, hospital
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
Vote: has 51.28 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military, doctor, women
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Vote: has 51.27 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
Vote: has 51.13 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, animal