The best jokes about women

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Vote: has 34.09 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.” “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!” “I know all that.” “Then why did you invite a friend for supper?” “Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”
Vote: has 34.09 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
Vote: has 32.79 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
Vote: has 32.65 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, animal, women, fart
Question: Why did the Army send do many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, military, animal
A single woman who retired just a few months back walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch in her neighborhood. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, women, life, alcohol, age
What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it. B. Penicillin.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women, work
What’s the difference between goats and women?? Goats are always horney.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, women
Q: Why do women have periods? A: Because they deserve them.
Vote: has 31.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

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Question: What’s six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild? Answer: Money.
Vote: has 31.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, money