The best work jokes

You could give me 37 years to do homework and I still wouldn't do it until the night before.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: time, student, school, work
Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.
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More jokes about: Yo mama, work, kids, catholic
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe." Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work." Company softball team downsized to chess team. Company president now driving a Hyundai. Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, work, IT, car, business
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert. 'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free! 'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. 'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife. Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'
Vote: has 67.68 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, work, wife, money, travel
Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb? A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
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More jokes about: IT, light bulb, technology, work
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
Vote: has 67.56 % from 1198 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, husband, money, wife, work
A white guy walks into a bar and asked a black guy for a bl*w job. The black guy beat him up and threw him out of the bar. The bartender then asked, "What did he say to you? The black guy responded I don't know all I heard is something about a job!!
Vote: has 67.50 % from 424 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, bar, sex, bartender, work
Two men work in a mortuary. One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today. She'd been in the water for a week. Her clit was like a pickle." "Ew!" says the other fellow. "It was green?" "No, it was sour!"
Vote: has 67.28 % from 238 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, work, women
Cindy asked an old friend to go out for a drink with her after work. I don't understand, Cindy complained. When people find out I'm a lawyer, they take an instant dislike to me. Why would they do that? Her friend appeared to think for a moment and then suggested, Maybe it just saves time.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, work
"What are you doing there?" "I'm making something." "What are you making?" "A bomb." "Can I help?" "Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."
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More jokes about: life, science, work