The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself. "He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know. Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education." Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?" "Oh," replied Jim " at Yale." "That's very good, excellent. You're hired! Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?" Jim answered "I don't care. Yimi or Mr. Yonson."
When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice. "The first ten years are the hardest." "How long have you been married?" she asked. "Ten years", he replied.
Q: What does a black person have in common with a soda machine? A: They both don't work and always take your money.
Yo' Mama is so poor, my jack-o-lantern gets better dental work then she does.
How has Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggers? He promised to create jobs for them if elected.
Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy. "There were no survivors."
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
Q: Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible? A: He thought he saw a job.