Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
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Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.
Three guys are alone on a desert island: an engineer, a biologist and an economist.
They are starving and don't have a thing to eat, but somehow they find a can of beans on the shore.
The engineer says: "Let's hit the can with a rock until it opens."
The biologist has another idea: "No. We should wait for a while. Erosion will do the job."
Finally, the economist says: "Let's assume that we have a can opener".
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Gilding the lily is a job seeker's birthright.
Here are a few doozies, where the applicant claimed:
- to be a former CEO of the company to which he was applying.
- to be fluent in two languages—one of which was pig Latin.
- to be a Nobel Prize winner.
- to have worked in a jail when he was really in there serving time.
- he was fired "on accident."
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Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant?
A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.
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How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four.
One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
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Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore?
A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
A white guy walks into a bar and asked a black guy for a bl*w job.
The black guy beat him up and threw him out of the bar.
The bartender then asked, "What did he say to you?
The black guy responded I don't know all I heard is something about a job!!
Q: How do you keep a Republican busy for a week?
A: Turn on the spell checker.
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Getting married is like buying a dishwasher.
You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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