The best work jokes

A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don’t have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she’s with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What pool?”" "Uh.. is this 832-4173?"
Vote: has 38.49 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, work, phone, money
What is so special about the retirement age? "It is the time when one acquires sufficient experience to lose one's job."
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, age, work
When they get you, they have their own little signature, like Gucci or something like that. When you walk down the street, girls will walk by, and they'll say, "Oh, that's Gladys' work, ain't it?"
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More jokes about: marriage, work
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
Vote: has 34.87 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, work
I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.
Vote: has 34.09 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, work, teacher
What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it. B. Penicillin.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women, work
Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms. "How are you going to assist me?" asked Quasimodo. "That's easy!" replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his head. BONG!!! "That's amazing!" said Quasimodo. "Could you show me that again?" "Sure!" said the man and he ran at the bell again but he missed the swinging bell and fell out of the bell tower. A crowd huddled around the hapless man lying in the street and a police office asked, "Does anyone know who he is?" Quasimodo came out and said... "I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME, BUT HIS FACE SURE RINGS A BELL!"
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: work
What is the best job in a country which is war-prone? "Foreign ambassador."
Vote: has 29.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military, war, work
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, work, driving, money
The other day was Take Your Daughter To Work day. The Cubs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their daughters. Unfortunately they lost, 15-3.
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport, work