Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less?
A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.
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Q: What's the difference between death and taxes?
A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.
Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections?
A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!
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A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord.
It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money.
However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.
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A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it.
The genie said, "I will grant you one wish."
He said, "I wish I were smarter".
So the genie made him a Republican.
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The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services.
He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited.
As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them.
The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself.
He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!"
The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!"
The aide hustles the young man off.
The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What skills to you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man says, "I chop wood!"
"Son," the general replies, "we don't need wood choppers in the Air Force, what do you know how to do?"
"I chop wood!"
"Young man," huffs the general, "you are not listening to me, we don't need wood choppers, this is the 20th century!"
"Well," the young man says, "you hired my brother!"
"Of course we did," says the general, "he's a pilot!"
The young man rolls his eyes and says, "So what! I have to chop it before he can pile it!"
What does a nigger do after sex?
25 years to life.
Yo mama so fat it took nationwide 3 years to get on her side.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark
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