Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
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Someone figured out my password.
Now I have to rename my dog.
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Boss comes up to an employee:
"Yesterday you did a great job - in one day you managed to do as much work, as you did in previous month!"
"Thanks boss, that's because Facebook was shut down for the whole day."
Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook...
No one's his friend.
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Chuck Norris adds Facebook as a friend.
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If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar movie collection except for one. he's never gonna give you Up
Guy comes up the hill, look up to the sky and yells, "God, I want to hear your opinion! Is Facebook harmful?"
And response from heaven, "A moment, I just finish this status.."
Dear Facebook,
Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"