The best love jokes

Wishing to prove to his wife that he loved her for more than sex, the young man bought her a lovely bouquet of roses. Despite his good intentions, however, the devoted husband received a suspicious look when he handed her the flowers. "I suppose," she said, "that now you expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs spread." "Why?" said the young man. "Don't we have a vase?"
Vote: has 73.74 % from 479 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, wife, love
'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, love, friendship, single
Do you know why bankers are good lovers? They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
Vote: has 72.24 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, love
Love is one way to get to a persons heart the other is Chuck Norris' fists.
Vote: has 72.24 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, love
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, love, wife, husband
Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, love, kids
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, life, love, nerd
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? A: CSI
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, love
A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives. So one day he's driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her but he can't. Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid. Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help. So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch. They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an old blind man walking down the street. He swerves toward him but misses, and the pastor says, "Don't worry. I got him with the door!"
Vote: has 71.22 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, love, kids, church, car
A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!" To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"
Vote: has 71.05 % from 86 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, wife, sex, love