Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.
Happy Father's Day to the only person on the planet still willing to employ me.
Father's Day always worried James. He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.
By tradition, fathers wear a red flower on Father's Day, if their father is alive and a white flower if he's dead. And if they have a nagging wife and a house full of screaming kids, they wear a pink flower - which means they are living but wish they were dead.
"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?
"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
What is the perfect Father's Day gift? Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.
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