The best morbid jokes

Q: Where do suicide bombers go after they die? A: Everywhere!
Vote: has 79.27 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, morbid, terrorist
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. "First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner. "Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile." The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?" "Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning." "Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector. "Thought he was having his picture taken.
Vote: has 79.24 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: morbid, death, alcohol
Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined? A: For buttering up her clients.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: tax, black humor, morbid
A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar the friends obviously ask why he is late and he responds: "Wow, you won't believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and suddenly I see a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks." The friends are curious and ask: "Well, what happened next?" The guy says: "Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her." The friends are cheering and one friend asks: "Soo... did you get any head?" The guy says: "No, I couldn't find it..."
Vote: has 71.74 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, sex, women, disgusting, morbid
What has more brains than a dead baby? The wall behind it.
Vote: has 62.75 % from 90 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, morbid
Roses are red tulips are black. You'd look great with a knife in your back.
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, morbid, poems
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Vote: has 54.62 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, desert island, morbid, navy, sex
Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads? Because they're headcases.
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, morbid
What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup? A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
Vote: has 52.42 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, morbid
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more.
Vote: has 49.12 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, game, dog, morbid