The best ugly jokes

A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
Vote: has 88.51 % from 589 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, ugly, fat
A chubbier woman: "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" Mirror: "Kindly move aside. I can't see anything."
Vote: has 86.34 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, ugly, insulting
Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
Vote: has 84.58 % from 3617 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, ugly, insulting
An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
Vote: has 83.61 % from 316 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, ugly, fat, kids, stupid
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
Vote: has 82.54 % from 3085 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, ugly
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
Vote: has 80.95 % from 300 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, ugly, age
Yo mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.
Vote: has 80.52 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, ugly, kitty, insulting
"Siri, why am I still single?" Siri activates front camera.
Vote: has 80.35 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: technology, single, insulting, ugly
"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ugly, single, insulting
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.
Vote: has 78.78 % from 279 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, ugly, kids, insulting