The best fat jokes

A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
Vote: has 88.65 % from 587 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, ugly, fat
Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?" "I have to do that, or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny." "That's not going to work." "Why not?" "Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."
Vote: has 88.25 % from 367 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, dad, fat
Yo Momma So Fat The Only Letters She Knows In The Alphabet Are K.F.C!
Vote: has 84.23 % from 3352 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, food, fat, insulting
An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
Vote: has 83.61 % from 316 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, ugly, fat, kids, stupid
Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.
Vote: has 82.04 % from 2029 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, insulting, animal, food
Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale it says TO BE CONTINUED...
Vote: has 80.79 % from 720 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, insulting
Yo mama so fat Mount Everest tried to climb her.
Vote: has 80.75 % from 473 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, insulting
Yo momma so fat when she fell, no one laughed, but the ground started cracking up.
Vote: has 80.51 % from 600 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat
Yo mama is so fat every time she sits down they add another country to the map.
Vote: has 80.42 % from 465 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, insulting
Yo momma so fat when she went to the circus the little girl asked if she could ride the elephant.
Vote: has 80.23 % from 411 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, elephant