The best history jokes

The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
Vote: has 84.84 % from 200 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, technology, computer, history
In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, "Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests." Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. "Well, said Mr. Johnson, I was looking over your test and the question was, 'Who was our first president?', and the little girl that sits next to you, Mary, put 'George Washington,' and so did you." "So, everyone knows that he was the first president." "Well, just wait a minute," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was, 'Who freed the slaves?' Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so did you." "Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that," said Johnny. "Wait, wait," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was, 'Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?' Mary put 'I don't know,' and you put, 'Me neither'."
Vote: has 84.17 % from 591 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: history, political, teacher, school, student
Who's the biggest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
Vote: has 80.69 % from 313 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, death, game, history
Nate: Why was school easier for cave people? Kate: Why? Nate: Because there was no history to study!
Vote: has 78.32 % from 278 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, history
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: history, black humor, mean, women
The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college president, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look." He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the president, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport, history
A somewhat advanced society has figured out how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says: "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature. "What else do you have?" asks the student. "Well I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks: "Do you have a pill for math?" The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," goes back to the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plonks it on the counter. "I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student. The pharmacist replies, "Well you know math always was a little hard to swallow."
Vote: has 68.14 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, math, history
The answer to all the questions on your history test tomorrow is Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, history
Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.
Vote: has 66.69 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, history, jewish
Yo Mama so old... When she was at school...there was No history class!
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, history