# The best weather jokes

Question: Why are hurricanes sometimes named after women? Answer: When they come they’re wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
Vote: has 86.51 % from 719 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, weather, car
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
Vote: has 83.89 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
Jill: "How did you find the weather on your vacation?" Bill: "I just went outside and there it was!"
Vote: has 81.69 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: weather, holiday, stupid
Q: Why do hurricanes travel so fast? A: Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.
Vote: has 80.35 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence. Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?" The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical. With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick. Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is." The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly. Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?" The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."
Vote: has 80.19 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, hospital, time, weather
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor? A: Not cool.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, weather, black humor
It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: time, geography, weather
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, weather, kids
There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: weather, technology, technology, technology