The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.