The best money jokes

A man was telling his wife that he wanted to go to this country in which women paid men twenty dollars every time they had sex. She replied, "I do too!" He gets confused and asks why. She tells him, "I'd like to see how long you can last on forty dollars a month."
Vote: has 71.73 % from 184 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, wife, money
Yo mamas so poor she traded her car for gas money.
Vote: has 71.58 % from 120 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, car, money
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
Vote: has 71.53 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, animal, money, math, dog
Why don't black people pay rent? Because jail is free.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 143 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, black people, money, prison
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax? A: After it reaches 95%
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: democrat, tax, money
How do you start a Jewish parade? Throw a penny down main street.
Vote: has 71.36 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, jewish, money
Why are men like bank accounts? Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest!
Vote: has 71.35 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
A 60-year-old millionaire has just married a 20-year-old model. ‘You crafty old devil,’ says his friend. ‘How did you manage to get a lovely young wife like that?’ ‘Easy,’ replies the millionaire. ‘I told her I was 95.’
Vote: has 71.25 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
An American goes to the train station so he can start his big trip. He notices there a machine with the indication: "Put A Dollar in the Slot and the Machine will Tell you who you are!" Curious, he puts the dollar inside the slot and he waits. The machine suddenly sounds; "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." The man blacked out with the machine's ability. So, he decided to trick the machine. He wore a fake mustache and putted another dollar inside the slot. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago," says the machine. "But it's impossible!" screamed the man, acquiring a maniac need to trick the machine. He ran to the toilet and disguised as an Arab. Then, he did the same routine. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." Furious then, he disguises as a woman and puts the dollar as usual in the slot. -You're John Bull, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall, 90 kilos and with your bullshits you.. lost the train!
Vote: has 71.25 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, travel, accountant