The best money jokes

Dick’s family were very poor – when the wolf came to the door, they ate it.
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Money talks – all mine says is ‘Goodbye!’
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I wouldn’t say Harry was mean, but last Christmas Eve he fired a pistol in the garden and told the kids Santa had committed suicide.
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Man, to friend, ‘My wife makes terrible demands for money. Two weeks ago she asked for £50. Last week she wanted £100, and yesterday it was £150.’ Friend, ‘What does she do with it all?’ Man, ‘I don’t know. I never give her any.’
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Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money. "I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
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Patient: "How much do you charge for extracting a tooth?" Doctor: "Fifty rupees." Patient: "Fifty ruppes, for only a few second’s work?" Doctor: "Well, I will do it very slowly." Patient: "How much is for the operation?" Doctor: "Rupees on thousand." Patient: "But it was a serious one." Doctor: "Nonsense. You can’t buy a serious operation for Rupees one Thousand now-a days."
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More jokes about: life, doctor, money
‘How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars…’ Steve Martin
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If God had meant us to pay taxes, he’d have made us smart enough to fill in the return form.
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Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains? If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
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Using a credit card is a convenient way to spend money you wish you had.
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