Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice. This chalice is now known as the holy grail.
Sex is bad Sex is a sin Sins are forgiven So stick it in.
Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ? A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
Religion is a lot more like politics. The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.
Question: What do you get if you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's witness? Answer: Someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
Man: You've brought religion into my life. Woman: Really? How? Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell.
DEPT OF STATISTICS: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. DEPT OF HISTORY: All students get the same grade they got last year. DEPT OF RELIGION: Grade is determined by God. DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY: What is a grade? LAW SCHOOL: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A. DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: Grades are variable. DEPT OF LOGIC: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A. DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE: Random number generator determines grade. MUSIC DEPARTMENT: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively). DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Everybody gets an A.