I'm like happy meal.
"Coz you are small and pretty?"
"No, coz I always c*m with a toy inside.
Q. Why don't little girls fart?
A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
I lost my virginity to a retard last night... I wanted my first time to be special.
This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whorehouse with 5$.
He buys a the cheapest prostitute named Sandpaper Sally.
As they start to have sex, Jim screams, "Ouch! Now I know why they call you Sandpaper Sally!"
Sally scoots out of the room.
Five minutes later she came back and Jim attempts sex once again.
"What the hell happened?" asks Jim, "This is the best sex I''ve ever had!"
Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."
Vote:
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"?
- "No, I had sex in high school."
Q:What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex?
A:Honey I'm home.
Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex?
A: freak.
Vote:
Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room.
The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?"
Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says:
"I did how do you think all this shit got started..."
Which is the most confusing day in America?
Father's day!
80% don't know whom to wish.
Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.
Vote:
A man and wife were making love.
When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away.
Mom said "You better fix this now."
The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma.
The dad screamed "What the fuck."
The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."