After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.
I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
I'm tired 8 days a week.
"Backspace key"... hiding feelings since ages.
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine."
It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.
Q: How do all stoner stories start? A: This one time when I was high...
Q: How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad? A: I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!
Q: What's the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.
A man has a racehorse, never won a race. Man in disgust says, "Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning." The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track. He kicks the horse and asks, "Why are you sleeping?" The horse, half asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."