Best jokes ever

Kanye West compared himself to Michelangelo, Picasso, Walt Disney and Steve Jobs. Apparently none of them could sing, either.
Vote: has 75.21 % from 193 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, music
Black man walked into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder.  The bartender asks, "Where did you get it?"  The parrot says, "Africa…"
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More jokes about: racist, bar, parrot, bartender
A guy feels out an application for E-harmony to meet the ladies. E-harmony rejected his application because he failed to answer question 14 properly. The question was, "What do you like most in a woman." The man replied, "My d*ck."
Vote: has 75.20 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
If the Earth turned 30 times faster, we would get salary every day, but women would bleed to death...
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More jokes about: women, death, time
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
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More jokes about: lawyer, money
A lady walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," the lady said. "Now you have to remove them."
Vote: has 75.18 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, doctor, husband
Boy: “I’ve just had the most awful time. First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy.” Friend: “Wow! How did you pull through?” Boy: “I don’t know. Toughest spelling test I ever had!”
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More jokes about: school
At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. ‘If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?’ Among the forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard. With his team’s software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
Vote: has 75.17 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, management
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."
Vote: has 75.17 % from 971 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay
The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”. He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”. She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”. He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”. She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers. Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”. He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
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More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher, math, time, time