Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world. The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Don't ever let your girl talk to another guy about her problems; a shoulder to cry on, becomes a dick to ride on.
Vote: has 71.82 % from 157 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Yo mammas breath so nasty that when she burps her teeth have to duck.
Vote: has 71.80 % from 133 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
There was a tornado in my area the other day. The sky was so black; it took my bike.
Vote: has 71.79 % from 204 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, weather, black people
Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the border. They went to Casa del Sol, Mexico, built a huge platform, and opened for business. By noon the first day, they both noticed that while everyone was watching, no one was buying tickets. Jack told John to go up and jump, so everyone could see how much fun it was, and then they would buy tickets and try it. John jumped, almost reached the ground, and sprang back up. Jack saw that his shirt was torn and his hair was mussed. John came down again and sprang back up. This time he had several bruises and his clothes were ripped to shreds. The third time down and back up, and he had several open wounds, a broken arm, and was bruised over most of his body. Jack quickly raised John to the platform and asked him what in the world was going on. John replied, "I’m not sure. Do you know what 'pinata' means?"
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, business, mexican
Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, IT
During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3." All was good.
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Ok, so there this girl sleeping in religion class The teaches asks the class "who is our lord and savior?" The boy behind the girl pokes her with a pen and she screams jesus christ! The teacher says "good, now who created the earth in seven days?" The boy pokes the girl again, she lest "oh my god!" The teacher says "good, now what did Eve say to Adam after their 11 child? The boy pokes the girl one more time and the girl yells "if you poke me with that ting one more time im going to break it off!"
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, teacher, god
Man: I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time. Fields: A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy
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More jokes about: alcohol