Best jokes ever

The teacher was asking the end of the day question that she asks every Friday. If the student got it right they would not have to go to school on Monday. Little Johnny Was determined to answer correctly. So he painted two black marbles black and rolled them to the teachers feet. All of a sudden she Shouted out, "Who's the commedian with the black balls?". Johnny shouted out, "Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday suckas!".
Vote: has 84.83 % from 617 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny
A defendant was on trial for murder in Philadelphia. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom." He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty." The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty. "But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door." Answered the jury foreman: "Oh, we did look. But your client didn’t."
Vote: has 84.82 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along. The guy asks, "What are you carrying?" "Melons," the blonde replies. "Cool," the guy says. "If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?" The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them"
Vote: has 84.81 % from 192 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
Vote: has 84.81 % from 595 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, wife, computer, technology, winter
Teacher: "Can you tell the name of 3 great Kings who have brought happpines and peace into people lives?" Student: " Smo-king", Drin-king and Fuc-king"
Vote: has 84.80 % from 407 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
Vote: has 84.80 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
"My parachute did not work." Said no one ever.
Vote: has 84.80 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
Vote: has 84.80 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: winter, women, men, dirty
The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.
Vote: has 84.80 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people
Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he did kill Hitler.
Vote: has 84.80 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Hitler, death