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He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
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Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A: In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
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Q: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement? A: Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
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Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant? A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
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Alien from "A.V.P" is just Chuck Norris' Gecko.
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Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
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Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK? A: He can claim Gift Relief.
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays". The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
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