He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A: In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Q: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement? A: Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant? A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
Alien from "A.V.P" is just Chuck Norris' Gecko.
Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK? A: He can claim Gift Relief.
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays". The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".