Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.
Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
How do you make a rabbit fast? Don't feed it.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? A: Charged With Battery.
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked. The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" The lady confirmed, "Yes." "Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
Dogs may shed, but cats shred.