Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called the vicar who had married her.
"Reverend," she wailed, "John and I have had a dreadful fight!"
"Calm down, my child," said the Reverend, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"
"I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what on earth am I going to do with the body?"
The more self-killers, the fewer self-killers.
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake.
Sincerely, Michael Myers
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Somebody said that Chuck sucks, since then their severed head with many foot marks have been found...
Vote:
Every night while Dave is having dinner his wife Natalie goes to the bedroom turns off the light and makes out with Daves friend Andy by the window.
After some days Dave had doubt and leaving supper he went to the dark room only to hear whispers from the other side of the window.
He pushes Natalie away goes near the window,unties his pant and put his arse facing the window.
After a minute Andy puts a kiss on his butt cheek and says "Natalie, haven't u brushed ur teeth today?"
Vote:
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear.
They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead.
Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault.
The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
It is better to give than to receive.
This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Vote:
Q: What do you call an African-American whose spouse just died?
A: A black widow.
Vote:
Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.