The best drug jokes

A guy goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The girl behind the counter says, “What size?” He says, “I don’t know.” She hold up a finger and says, “That big?” He says, “Bigger.” She holds up three fingers and says, “That big?” He says, “Smaller?” She holds up two fingers and he says, “That’s it.” She puts the two fingers in her mouth and says, “Medium.”
Vote: has 70.83 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, drug
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
Vote: has 70.75 % from 128 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport, drunk, drug
The Bible says I'll pay for my sins. I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bible, money, drug, alcohol
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, health, drug
Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex? They're called "Predickamints".
Vote: has 66.96 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, drug, sex
Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, drug
Cocaine is Addicted to Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, drug
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she asked if her drug test was multiple choice.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, stupid, insulting, drug
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, drug, death
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, doctor, drug, health, memory