The best family jokes

Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy? A: The park bench can support a family.
Vote: has 68.77 % from 274 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, family, black people
Yo mamma so fat she broke your family tree.
Vote: has 68.26 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, family, fat, insulting
What is the perfect Father's Day gift? Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, family, holiday
Q: Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve? A: All the DNA matches and there's no dental records.
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: redneck, death, family
Black Jokes are not funny I have a black guy in my family way up in my family tree. He's been hanging there for quite a while.
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, black people, family
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, family, food, religious
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, family
One misty Scottish morning a man is driving through the hills to Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a massive red-haired highlander steps into the middle of the road. The man is at least six feet four, has a huge red beard and, despite the wind, mist, and near freezing temperatures, is wearing only his kilt, a tweed shirt and a tam-o'-shanter at a rakish angle. At the roadside there also stands a young woman. She is absolutely beautiful slim, shapely, fair complexion, golden hair... heart stopping. The driver stops and stares, and his attention is only distracted from the lovely girl when the red thing opens the car door and drags him from his seat onto the road with a fist resembling a whole raw ham. "Right, you Jimmy," he shouts, "Ah want you to masturbate!" "But..." stammers the driver. "Du it now - or I'll bluddy kill yu!" So the driver turns his back on the girl, drops his trousers and starts to masturbate. Thinking of the girl on the roadside, this doesn"t take him long. "Right!" snarls the Highlander. "Du it agin, now!" So the driver does it again. "Right laddie, du it agin!" demands the Highlander. This goes on for nearly two hours. The hapless driver gets cramps in both arms, he has rubbed himself raw, is violently aching, his sight is failing and despite the cold wind, he has collapsed in a sweating, jibbering heap on the ground, unable to stand. "Du it again!" says the Highlander. "I can"t do it any more - you'll just have to kill me!" whimpers the man. The Highlander looks down at the pathetic soul slumped on the roadside and says, "All right laddie. NOW, can you give ma daughter a lift to Inverness?"
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: driving, women, masturbation, travel, family
Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
Vote: has 65.79 % from 501 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, food, family
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!" "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, holiday, baby, marriage, family