The best fart jokes

Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight? Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board, and I'll sit on the couch while drinking beer and farting.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, husband, beer, fart, wife
You are so old, you fart dust.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, fart, insulting
Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.
Vote: has 69.73 % from 175 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, insulting, money, fart, god
The preschool teacher says, "We're going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?" Mary raises her hand and exclaims, "Me me me!" The teacher says, "Go ahead, what's the sentence? Mary replies, "The sky is definitely blue." "That's good, Mary," says the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white." Sam raises his hand and states, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher says, "That's good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too." Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Do farts have lumps in them?" The teacher says, "No Johnny, why do you ask that?" Little Johnny replies, "Well, I definitely sh*t my pants."
Vote: has 68.32 % from 89 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher, fart
Farting in a lift is wrong on so many levels!
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart
I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, hipster
Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: single, food, fart, disgusting
Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Vote: has 65.47 % from 250 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, age, fart
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window. After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning. Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?" "It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, family, nurse, fart, old people
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her farts are classified as biological weapons.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fart, science, insulting