Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
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Once chuck norris and time had race.
Result: The time is still running.
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Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris.
After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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A student was lucky to find a decent accommodation with a cheap rent. His colleagues came to visit him and he was showing them the house.
"This is the kitchen. This is the bedroom. And this one is the living room ... "
"And what are this hammer and this pot that are hanging on the wall for? What are you going to do with them?" one of his colleagues asked.
"This is a talking clock."
"I have never seen a clock like that. Can you show me how it works?"
"Sure. Look," the student said.
He took the hammer and struck at the pot with all his strength. Then a voice was heard from the other side,
"What you are doing? Are you crazy? It is half past one in the night, you idiot!"
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
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It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
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Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
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A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.
The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."
"But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom – I'll show you how."
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After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.
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Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
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