Q: What is an atheist's favorite Christmas movie? A: "Coincidence on 34th Street"
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? A: Elfis!
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
An atheist buys an Ancient Roman Catholic lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, "I'll grant you three wishes, Master." The atheist says, "I wish I could believe in you." The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, "Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this." The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. "What about your third wish?" asks the genie. "Well," says the atheist, "I wish for a billion dollars." The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. "What's wrong?" asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, "Just because you believe in me, doesn't necessarily mean that I really exist."
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
Q: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god did it.
Q: What is so ironic about Atheists? A: They're always talking about God.
Q: Why did the Atheist cross the road? A: He thought there might be a street on the other side, but he wouldn't believe it until he tested his hypothesis.
Your moms like a christmass tree all the guys put there balls on her.