Office executive "Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?"
Boss "Certainly not!"
Office executive "Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding."
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An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels.
The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.
The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
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When the office printer color started to look a little off the manager called the local repair shop.
To the manager's surprise, the clerk said that it would cost $50 but that he might try reading the manual and doing it himself.
The manager replied in astonishment, does your boss know that you discourage business that way?
"Yes", replied the clerk.
It was his idea.
We make more on repairs than cleaning printers if the owner tries to do it himself first.
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There was an employment advertisement in an office.
So a guy went there.
Managrer asked him: "Do you know what is the meaning of Ph.D.?"
The guy answered: "Passed High school with Difficulties."
The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you re wanted on the phone, sir."
"What d you mean, you think?" demanded the boss.
"Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said is that you, you old fool?"
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Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
I'm not usually one to tell someone how to do their job, which is probably why my promotion to management only lasted a week.
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Knock-knock
Who is there?
A shattered penis with many diseases.
What kind of illness?
Gall, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis...
Enough, it is the best present for my mother in law.
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Joke has 64.13 % from 603 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, knock-knock, mother in law, vulgar
Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
A: Invite an accountant.
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The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
One night my mother in law came to our home.
In the middle of the night suddenly I was awakened by a horrible sound from WC.
She farted.
I was so angry that shouted and said: "Your food is under your feet and your weapons are complete get out and go to fight with ISIS!"
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